Bet On It

I was sure if I was going to do this thing or not, but I decided to join in on my first DietBet.  Kimberly over at Manifest Yourself is hosting a 4-week challenge that starts today.  The challenge is to lose 4% of your body weight over the game period.  It costs $25 to participate and all winners split the pot.  It’s not too late to join!  You have up to 7 days from the start (today) to do your initial weigh in.

I was a little hesitant to sign-up because while this sort of thing can be motivation to really get my butt in gear, it can also have a more far-reaching negative backlash.  I hate getting scale-obsessed and that is something of a necessity for a challenge of this sort.  4% of your body weight doesn’t seem like a lot, but at 188.8 that means 7.5 pounds – almost 2lbs a week.  That’s a normal and not crazy number, but oh the pressure of needing to maintain near perfect weight loss for 4 weeks.

I do need a kick in the pants though as I’ve been maintaining a weight that is uncomfortable for me for far too long.  It is one thing to drag out weight loss when trying to lose that last 5 pounds, but I have about 40 pounds to lose.  I don’t want to be in the obese category anymore.

My gym is having a July diet challenge that I considered signing up for simply to have others to commiserate with in person.  However, the rules were just too crazy strict for me.  I know for sure that forcing myself to cut out all sugar, all bread/pasta and all fruit would just be too much.  That is the sort of challenge that leads to black or white thinking for me.  The rules create this de-facto standard – like that is the ideal way of eating – that I would constantly be failing to measure up to.  Constant failure would just lead to me saying why bother at all?  I think paying a little more attention to the scale for a month is a far better option for me at this time.

My plan for Week 1 is to do the things that I know work but to just be more consistent.  I need to limit mindless snacking and stick to 3 meals a day.  I’m also going to work on leaving a little food on my plate with each meal (just a few bites) to rather painlessly reduce my intake.  I am usually a proud member of the “clean plate club,” but I think I can handle this for a week.  I’ll re-evaluate how this level of strictness is working at the end of the week.  If I need to temporarily resort to tracking calories (ugh), I just might do so.

If you need a kick in the pants too, consider signing up!

Posted in Weight Loss | 1 Comment

The Ugly Middle: One+ Year Of Postpartum Weight Loss

Starting Weigh-In (9/12): 211.2
Last Weigh-In (02/17): 198.2
Current Weigh-In (07/02): 189.5
Change: -8.7
Total Change: -21.7
02/17 07/02 Change
Waist 34.0 33.0 -1.00
Hip 44.5 42.5 -2.00
Thigh 26.5 25.25 -1.25
Bust 40.5 40 -0.5
Arm 13.25 12.75 -0.5

It’s the middle of the year and I’m in the middle of yet another weight loss journey.  I call it the “ugly middle” because that’s exactly how it feels.  I am definitely making progress, but it is just painfully slow.  It’s times like this that I regret not being one of those #selfie people who take what seems like daily progress pictures.  I lost so much weight before, but I can only find the pictures that represent 6 month chunks of one year of weight loss.  I don’t look like the middle picture yet but I look way better than the initial picture.  I’m just in this murky place where I feel like I’ve been working hard forever with little to show for it.  It sucks.

Now that the baby is really sleeping (2 weeks of down at 8PM and not a peep until 6:30AM!!) and I’ve been officially done nursing for two months, I have no more excuses for my slow progress.  I am grateful that I’ve managed to stay in a downward trend but I can do better than averaging 2lbs of month.  I know I can.

It’s the food with me – always has been, always will be.  I have just not been as mindful about my eating as I need to be.  Case in point, I started writing this post on May 2nd.  I went to update my numbers and exactly 2 months later, I am only down 1.9 pounds and a few inches overall.  Yes, that’s still a loss but it really represents a gain of a bunch of habits that aren’t conducive to weight loss that I had been successfully fighting.  There were too many instances of enjoying treats too often, not cooking my own meals, and totally ignoring that voice that says “I don’t really need or want to eat that” or “I’m full so let’s stop eating.”

Initially, the problem was that I just felt bad being one year postpartum and so far from my goals.  It was a total shame spiral where the loops playing in my head went like “The best you can do with breastfeeding and CrossFitting and running is 30lbs in a year?  Really?”  What better way to deal with feeling inadequate about your weight loss than to give up on the notion altogether, huh?

The postpartum weight loss funk lasted for about a month and then I rallied.  Oddly enough, the opposite thing happened – I got a bit cocky.  I was getting positive feedback on the physical changes that are manifesting themselves.  Thirty pounds may not be the 70 pounds I desire, but I’ve come a long way since last summer and people noticed.  I stopped breastfeeding and was just so sure that I would drop weight more easily now that my hormones would be levelling out.  I’ve been exercising a bit more often so surely I need to eat more food.

The problem here is that while these things may or may not be true, none of them should really affect how I eat at any particular meal.  I’m very guilty of eating for reasons that have nothing to do with my actual hunger levels.  Like oh, I’m going for a 2:30 hour trail run on Sunday so I need to fuel up lots on Saturday night.  Do I?  If I’m really hungry, sure, but not just because of something that may or may not happen in the future.

I am still working with my nutritionist but she can’t do the work for me.  And she also can’t help me if I avoid her.  I feel guilty about letting her down (my perception of the situation, not something she’s expressed) by not doing what I know I need to do.  Rather than get the help I need from her to succeed, I just check out altogether.

This mess stops now.  I am re-committing to doing the things I know will lead to success.  I will track (not necessarily calories but habit compliance) and I will setup a call with my nutritionist this week.  I will get back to the basics and even kick things up a notch.  I would love to drop 30lbs by the end of the year and it is entirely possible for me to do so.

You can’t see the finish line when you are in the middle of a race, but you don’t quit running just because it seems like the race will never end and you are DFL.

I’m going to keep running.

This post brought to you courtesy of Fitbloggin’ 14.  I met so many great people and left feeling inspired to blog regularly again.  I promise!

Posted in Fitness, Weight Loss | 1 Comment