Bits & Pieces

Posted on April 23, 2013 by keyalus
  • I feel like a much more relaxed parent the second time around.  I don’t really have much more parenting knowledge than I did before.  In fact, after 3.5 years, I’ve forgotten a lot about newborns.  I just realized that my son turned out alright and so will my daughter.  It is quite freeing not being so stressed out about every single thing.
  • I am amazed at how energetic (relatively speaking) that I feel postpartum.  I’m sure a lot of that has to do with the fact that I did not have a C-Section (VBAC success!!).  It also might help that I had a clue about what to expect of a newborn.  I’ve only had one tearful exhausted breakdown so far.  That was the night when the pacifier popped out every 5 minutes for an hour from 11:45PM-12:30AM.
  • Breastfeeding is going very well after the typical painful (cracked nipples, oy!) start.  I’m proud to say that Si.mi.lac (or any of its brethren) has not gotten a dime of my money so far.  At 3 weeks old, I had already decided to exclusively pump with my son and had to supplement because my supply wasn’t adequate.  I know I can make it to 6 weeks at the very least.  I’d like to make it a full year, but I won’t get ahead of myself.  I’m doing everything I can now to ensure that I have a full supply when I return to work and don’t have to supplement.  That is the next big hurdle.
  • Where are all these breastfed babies that go way beyond 2 hours between feedings?!?  Peri has only slept more than 3 hours a few times and that is always at night.  During the day, she usually eats every 1.5-1.75 hours.
  • I am really glad that we waited until my son was older to have another child.  I cannot fathom dealing with a toddler now while managing a helpless newborn.  My son has gotten even more independent over the past few weeks and I am extremely appreciative of that fact.
  • The transition from 1->2 kids has gone pretty well so far.  Lewis has done a bit more acting out than normal but I expected that.  I mainly feared him hating the baby or being annoyed by her or hitting her.  He’s not obsessed with her (only asked to hold her once) but he shows a concern for her that is super cute.  Better yet, he doesn’t seem to resent me for having to put her needs above his right now.  I hope this continues.
  • The hardest thing about my postpartum experience so far is that The Mister is suffering from a cycle of what we now know are cluster headaches and not migraines as we once thought.  Awesome timing, right?  This is right up there with him getting laid off the month before our wedding!  Anyway, these headaches are generally thought to be the most pain a human being can feel – much worse than unmedicated childbirth according to a female sufferer.  The Mister says it feels as if someone has a knife in his brain and is moving it around.  When he gets a headache, all he can do is sit still in the dark and use some coping techniques he’s developed over the years.  He gets several of these headaches every day and this will continue for another few 3-5 weeks.  Then he won’t have anymore for 3-5 years.
  • This headache thing sucks for me because he obviously can’t do anything when he’s having an attack.  I didn’t think it was that big of a deal at first.  He said he had a headache but didn’t really talk about the severity.  From my perspective, which was highly influenced by crazy hormones and lack of sleep, he’s lying on the couch all.day.long and not doing anything to help me.  How dare he be tired and so lazy when I’m the one up all night?!?  I was unable to depend on him for basics like taking my son to preschool on time.  I have been very resentful of the whole situation and taking it out on him.  I made the appointment for him to see a neurologist and now we have a diagnosis other than “my head hurts.”  There is really not a treatment at this point (with the exception of LSD…magic mushrooms anyone?) because his cycle is almost over, but we are both relieved.  He’s relieved because now he knows that he’s not dying and that he isn’t crazy.  I’m relieved because I really understand what he’s dealing with now instead of imagining that he’s being overly dramatic about a “headache”.  I feel bad that he is truly suffering and I’m very sorry that I treated him so poorly.  I now act with more kindness and understanding.  It sucks to be unable to depend on him for some things because he may be having an attack or exhausted from recovery.  However, I feel so much less resentful because I just expect to take care of things on my own instead of getting disappointed and annoyed because he has a headache.
  • I signed up for this race.  I think I got all caught up in the post-Boston tragedy runner’s spirit.  I have no clue how or when I will train.  I do know that I don’t have to stay the full time and I can always walk as much as I want.  I’ll just be happy to hit the ultra scene again!  It should be really interesting trying to figure out how to pump during this event.  Hmmm….
  • Aside from signing up for the race, I have done no exercise yet.  I think I might get started walking on the treadmill next week (4w postpartum).  My doctor basically said to go forth and do whatever you feel is right when he released me from the hospital.  I feel great physically but I am trying to respect that fact that giving birth is a major physical event and I’m still quite tired.  I also don’t want to mess up breastfeeding in any way, so I’m content to sit tight for 4-6w.  The desire to exercise is there and that is what matters the most to me.
  • When I do return to work, I have NO idea how I will exercise.  I think a lot of home and lunchtime workouts are in order for a while.  Pumping and waiting until Peri sleeps through the night are going to take a big chunk of my free time and energy.  This is a little bit different than with my son because The Mister was not working then.  I was able to come and go more easily.  We were also using formula so I had time in the early AM hours to exercise instead of being forced to pump.  Figuring this out will be interesting!

PS:  Wow!  The baby took an extra long nap.  It is all so unpredictable with newborns.  I should have been sleeping instead of posting.  I thought I wouldn’t get this far because she would wake up.  Maybe I can catch a few before she hits her 1.75 hour limit? :|

PPS:  To avoid a pictureless post…  Milissa at Birth Story Photo took some beautiful pictures of Peri @ 10 days old.  Can’t wait to see the full set!  BTW, it turns out she had a “nubbin” on the side of each pinky and not just one.  You can totally see them in the pics if you are curious.  We will be getting them tied off soon I think.

 

Posted in Baby, Family, Fitness | 10 Comments

Welcome To My World

Posted on April 3, 2013 by keyalus

Perion James Taylor was born on April 2 at 11:54AM. 7lbs, 5oz, 20 inches long. She looks SO much like her big brother!

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Posted in Baby | 19 Comments

Foto Friday

Posted on March 1, 2013 by keyalus

Taking selfies in the mirror is such a bizarre thing to do.  How can one look natural in these shots?  I hate taking pictures in general and it is even more uncomfortable to do so in the bathroom.

So I’m huge!  34 weeks +3 at this point (33+2 in the pictures).  I failed in meeting my lofty goals to gain a mere 40 lbs.  I won’t gain 80lbs like last time, but it is looking like 55-60lbs easy.  My mom (who was always a rail thin stick woman unlike me) gained 60lbs with each of her pregnancies.  Coincidence?  Do I just come from a family of heavy gainers?  The light at the end of the tunnel is that I never plan to do this again!

 

I love this picture.   They do some cool things at Lewis’ daycare.  I think if I were a SAHM his overall education would not be nearly so robust.  Maybe it is silly to talk about educating a 3 year old.  However, as he is getting older and asking me to explain more and more things, I feel like my explanations are woefully inadequate.  The English language is really complicated.  Hats off to teachers who can explain grammar, spelling, and phonics.  Teaching someone how to read is a big freaking deal.

I am sad because his teacher was let go this week.  I really liked her.  Lewis loved her and she loved those kids.  I don’t anticipate him being in that particular class for much longer but I’m really upset.  She was a really encouraging person and gave me lots of insight into supplementing his education at home.

 

God I miss trail running even though this was not technically a trail run.  This picture was taken at the top of Brasstown Bald on a training run with my friend Angela.  She’s doing big things with ultrarunning this year, I’m so proud of her!

Anyway, Brasstown Bald is the highest natural elevation in GA.  The view from the top was fantastic.  You can see 4 states (Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Tennessee).  If you are local, it is worth a trip…even if you take the shuttlebus to the top.

Posted in Pregnancy | 7 Comments

Who’s Right? Who’s Wrong?*

Posted on February 28, 2013 by keyalus

Baby #2 isn’t quite here yet (40 days!), but I already feel like my family is complete.  I have been obsessively researching permanent birth control methods.  Who wants to take hormonal birth control for another 20+ years until menopause?  I am leaning towards getting a tubal ligation sometime before September since I’ve already met my huge insurance deductible for the year.

I am 100% sure that I don’t want more than two children.  I simply can’t afford to have another child anytime soon.  At 36 years old, trying for another baby would be something that needed to happen in short order.  I’m not interested in that at all.  I would not want three kids even if I could afford it.  I just don’t have the emotional energy.  So I have no qualms about the idea of making the end of my fertility a permanent thing.  The thought of an accidental pregnancy terrifies me.

The Mister is fine with my decision to not bear anymore children.  However, in our discussions on options, he has mentioned adopting a child.  Record scratch!  Two children period is enough for me.  It doesn’t matter if they come from my body or someone else’s.

I listen to Dr. Laura sometimes on my drive home.  I generally think she is a royal you-know- -what.  But her often harsh tone and dogmatic opinions amuse me sometimes when she faces down ignorant callers who apparently don’t know what she’s all about.  I disagree with her on a lot of things (like mothers working outside the home obviously!), but I do agree with her general opinion on adoption.  She maintains that it isn’t fair to adopt children when you already have minor children to raise.

I totally agree with her.  I feel like my primary emotional and financial responsiblity is to the children I brought into the world.  I can’t see inviting another child into the mix even when Lewis and the baby are a little older.  Children require a great deal of emotional resources.  As a working mother, I already have a split focus.  It seems selfish to me to introduce another child, who likely has their own emotional issues to resolve, into the mix.  It would take even more of my energy to deal with all of that.

There is also the financial aspect.  We need to be saving for retirement a lot more than we are doing now.  I also want to move to a better school district in the next 5 years.  To do that, we have to really attack the second mortgage on our very underwater house just to break even on a sale.  None of these things can even happen until we have kids out of daycare.  After that we will be playing catch up.  Having another child to support would put us further behind on these goals.

What about fairness?  If I had another child, I would need to care for that kid in the same manner that I did my biological children.  There simply isn’t enough money around to comfortably do that.  Expensive and time-consuming extra-curricular activities for three?  Assistance with college?  I feel like everyone would end up getting nothing because we couldn’t afford to treat them all equally.  That is an example of making the kids I bought into the world suffer (#firstworldproblems yes but still…).  That doesn’t seem right.

The Mister thinks that my feelings are selfish, especially since my older sister is not my blood sister.  My mom was a middle school teacher for many years and the plight of one of her eighth graders led her to invite that girl into our home.  She became my sister when I was 9 years old.  My life was absolutely enriched by my parent’s decision.  I wouldn’t trade my family for anything.  That doesn’t mean that I feel the same thing would be true for my household.

I think adoption is a wonderful thing.  If I couldn’t have children of my own I would consider it.  If I had adult children out of the house, I think that fostering kids would be an awesome thing to do.  If I had to take in a niece or a nephew instead of them going into the system, I would do it.  But I feel like it is selfish to purposely take on a “burden” that you know would leave you stressed out emotionally and financially.

I think having a heart for adoption is sort of like having an entrepreneurial spirit.  There are people in this world who have a burning desire to be their own boss.  Then there are people like me who are perfectly content to work for someone else forever.  I don’t think either spirit is better than the other – do what makes you comfortable and happy.

What about you?  Would you adopt a child if you already had your own minor children?  I’m curious!

*Sort of random title but Janet Jackson’s “What Have You Done For Me Lately?” came up in my music mix while I was writing this.
Posted in Family | 10 Comments

It’s Been A Long Time

Posted on February 4, 2013 by keyalus

Has it really been 3 months since I’ve blogged?  Wow!  I wish I had some profound explanation for my absence but I really don’t.  I only seem to be willing to blog while I’m at work.  Work has been busy for a while.  When I actually feel like blogging, my site is unavailable to me here.   Today the stars aligned and here I am.

I don’t have a great way to return to blogging so I’ll just do some randoms today and try to post more frequently.

  • As of Thursday, I will be 32 weeks pregnant.  Everything is going well so far and this thing is flying by so quickly.  I had a bit of a “scare” when an ultrasound at the perinatologist revealed that my kid has six fingers on one hand.  Well, 5 fingers and what looks to be a “nub.”  That can mean scary things if there is no family history of this issue.  Thankfully, I recalled my mom telling me that she had a nub removed when she was born.  She also told me that it happens a lot on our side of the family.  That eased my fears (and the docs) and I declined further testing (amnio).  If the finger is indeed a nub they just tie it off at birth and it falls off and dies.  My mother has a tiny bump on the side of her pinky that is the only indication that anything was ever different about her.
  • I think I’ve finally accepted the fact that this is a girl.  I even bought her a dress!  The quality was great (Jason Wu for Target) and the clearance price was right ($59->$17).  It also met my qualifications of not making me gag.  I’m not a tomboy when it comes to fashion, but I’m pretty basic.  I like simple but feminine things.  The sheer volume of pink, lacy, sparkly, frilly clothing available for girls requires a major adjustment for me coming from toddler boy land.
  • Sister P got engaged over the holidays.  Huzzah!  She is such an organized person that she has already set a post-Christmas wedding date.  I’ll have about 8 months to focus on not looking like a cow in my bridesmaids dress.  I like having a “deadline” even though I plan to be gentle with myself.
  • I’m not running anymore.  I completed the Peachtree City 25K in mid-November @ 19 weeks pregnant.  It took me 3:22:57.  I didn’t even finish in last place!  There was another girl there that was more pregnant than I was at the time.  She’s a real speedster when not pregnant, so she finished in a little more than 2 hours.  I don’t think I could pull off 15 miles in less than 2:10 on a good non-pregnant day (my half-PR is 1:53-ish).
  • Regarding the 25K, the first 5 mile loop felt great and I ran 95% of it.  The second loop was harder and my walk/run ratio increased.  The third loop felt more like walking than running.  I could have continued on in that manner because “running” a marathon pregnant sounded like a cool idea in theory.  The reality was that my back was starting to hurt and I was tired of feeling like my bladder was going to explode with every step.  They had potties about every 2.5 miles and I stopped at every single time I saw one.  I think 15 minutes of my race time was spent in the bathroom!  As soon as I left the PoP, I felt like I had to go again within 5 minutes – insanity.  This was annoying to say the least.  Since I had nothing to prove, I called it a day at 25K with no regrets.  I’ll talk about my pregnancy exercise experience so far in another post soon.
  • The reality of finances with two kids in daycare has me shaken up.  Daycare will cost me more than my mortgage payment.  I completely realize that having children is something I voluntarily chose to do.  It is just sobering to look at the hard numbers.  It is going to be a very tight few years until September 2016 when Lewis is able to enroll in public kindergarten and use school aftercare ($8/day).  His birth date of Sept 12th just misses the county kindergarten cutoff of Sept 1st.  He won’t be able to enroll in K until he is 6 so we’ll have to pay for private care until then.  Sigh.  Why didn’t we think about this when planning to have a baby?!?
  • I’m very happy that I only want 2 kids because having another is simply not financially practical given my “advanced maternal age.”  We’ve been making little changes to save money the past few months and continue to look for ways to cut expenses.  I got some great news the other day about a situation and I’m awaiting final written confirmation.  Fingers crossed.
Posted in Family, Fitness, Pregnancy | 14 Comments